‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help
‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help
Two years ago, Martha Ongwane’s world felt shattered. Her daughter Rachael, a four-year-old diagnosed with autism, had become a source of overwhelming stress. Nonverbal, aggressive, and hyperactive, the child’s behavior left Martha feeling desperate and broken. At one point, she considered ending her daughter’s life, convinced that death would bring peace to their family. Yet, her heart refused to let her go through with it. “I told myself it would be better if she died because that would mean she would rest and our problems would end,” she recalls, her voice soft as she gazes at her hands. But the tears she shed that day marked the start of a journey toward healing.
Today, the same mother and daughter share a quiet, affectionate moment in their home near Mzuzu, northern Malawi. Rachael giggles as she climbs onto Martha’s lap, her laughter mingling with the sounds of a kitchen filled with the aroma of nsima—a maize-based porridge. The scene is far removed from the despair that once gripped the family. This transformation, however, was not effortless. It began when Martha and her husband discovered support through Saint John of God, a charity-funded organization that provides mental health services and special education programs for children like Rachael.
Breaking the Cycle of Isolation
Before Saint John of God, Martha faced relentless stigma. Neighbors in Malawi, where autism is often misunderstood, blamed her for Rachael’s condition. They even urged her to lock her daughter away, believing the child’s behavior was a result of her own failings. “There was no sympathy,” Martha says, reflecting on the harsh judgments. “People just didn’t understand what autism really meant.”
“For a woman to reach a point where she feels like she should kill her child—as a nation, we have failed her. Her burden became so heavy that she couldn’t cope emotionally anymore,” says Christopher Mhone, a representative from Saint John of God.
Mhone emphasizes that many families in Malawi lack access to essential resources. The country has just two developmental paediatricians for its 22 million population and three consultant psychiatrists. Without proper care, parents often struggle to manage their children’s needs, leading to deepening isolation. “Autism is a spectrum,” Mhone explains. “It affects individuals differently, but in places where mental health isn’t prioritized, only the most severe cases are seen, and that creates a cycle of blame.”
A Cultural Shift in Understanding
In efforts to change perceptions, Saint John of God hosts community sessions where religious leaders from Christian and Muslim backgrounds gather. These meetings challenge long-held beliefs, such as the idea that autism is caused by witchcraft. One man at the event argues that magic can be cast on pregnant women, resulting in children with the condition. Another claims that bewitchment is a common explanation for developmental differences.
Yet, the organization works to redirect these views. Through education and practical support, they show that interventions can ease the challenges of autism. For Martha, this has meant counseling for her and her husband, as well as access to a school for children with special needs. “The transformation has been incredible,” she says, her tone now filled with hope. “Now, I adore her.”
Autism, a neurodevelopmental disorder, influences how people communicate, interact socially, and perceive the world. While over 60 million people globally are on the autism spectrum, many in Malawi remain unaware of its nature. The term “autism” is rarely used in the Chichewa language, which is common in the country. Instead, it is often translated as “ofuntha” (troublesome) or “ozelezeka” (mentally challenged), reinforcing misconceptions. Without accurate information, stigma persists, making it harder for families to seek help and embrace their children’s unique qualities.
